Revenge is a Dish Best Served 3 Centuries After the Fact to Folks Who Don’t Even Know Who You Are

As I mentioned previously, I’ve been watching some fine-caliber horror movies over the past few weeks. Though they were predominantly focused on that enlightened Himalayan sage, the yeti, the remainder of the roster were made up of any that struck my choosy, discerning fancy.

One that really merits mention is a charming Mexican release from 1962, El Barón del Terror — or, as it came to be titled in English, The Brainiac. There’s just so much to love about a film that depicts a satanic wizard getting revenge on his Inquisition executioners by returning to life 300 years after his death and sucking out the brains of all their descendants. Why he hitched a ride back to Earth on an anomalous comet and suddenly looked like surgical ventilator bellows in bad need of a haircut is well beyond me, but it all somehow worked in spite of this. This warlock is a true gentleman. WorldlyCharismatic. He’s classy enough to know that, when entertaining guests, it’s best to stash your chalice of brain-snacks in a locked chest, discretely hidden from view.

And it will come as no surprise that the Terror Baron is an unapologetic Casanova. He loves nothing more than hypnotizing any woman willing to spend 30 seconds in conversation with him, then passionately making out with them before sucking their brains. Often right in front of their spouses. Whom he has also hypnotized. Pretty awkward — but when you’re executing your 300-year-old revenge scheme, I guess you pull out all the stops…

His tendencies are made clear from the very first scene of the film, in which the Terror Baron is being tried for his unholy crimes. The Inquisitor reads aloud the charges against him:

 

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Look at that. You see what gets that sly grin. The whole destroy-the-bloodlines-of-my-accusers angle is probably just a flimsy excuse to return to earth and schmooze with ladies.

Overall, I feel this film had the perfect blend of melodrama and strangeness. Grab a large chalice filled with your own snack-of-choice and give it a watch.

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