The Power of Dracula Compels You!

Occasionally, you’re online and you come across something unexpected. Perhaps you mis-click and direct your browser to a surprising web page. Perhaps you don’t carefully consider word choice before diving into that image search. Or perhaps you find yourself unintentionally engaged with the surreal Russian roulette of search engine autocomplete suggestions. These little moments of unplanned hilarity are a crucial part of Internet experience.

Case in point: I was recently searching for some information on a movie. As I was typing, I happening to glance up and caught sight of the suggested search terms the engine was recommending.

Screen capture of autosuggested search: "dracula has risen from the grave ending"

I paused, completely derailed from what I’d been doing, now thinking about nothing but the possible ways in which Dracula Has Risen From the Grave could sound the death knell of some poor fool’s relationship. Was one person’s dislike of the film considered an irreconcilable difference by the other? Was the fact that one person really liked the movie deemed totally unacceptable? Could two adults with sufficient social skills to start a relationship really not have the ability to negotiate a sub-par 70’s Hammer flick? Was this relationship already in a rapid downward spiral? Was Dracula simply the last, vampiric straw that brought the whole thing collapsing down on itself?

For no particular reason that I can recall, I didn’t choose to investigate the lead, instead continuing on with what I’d been searching. I now regret this poor life choice, as the lead has dried up completely. Vanished from the transient bus station that is the Internet. Today, I searched on those same words outlined above, but found nothing — no mournful blog post, no Craigslist plea for reconciliation, no tweet of concisely-worded regret. Perhaps there was nothing to begin with, and the gremlins tampering with the logic of our search engines were having a laugh at my expense.

Still, I’d like to believe we live in a world where an old, low-budget horror film has that kind of power over people.



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